Saturday, September 22, 2012


I suggested yesterday that Morgan sit down with me & look at frames online. He was pretty gung-ho with his mind made up as to what shape he'd like, but his excitement quickly disappeared & was replaced with a heavy somberness. When I asked him what was wrong he said nothing, but quickly fell apart as he shared his true feelings.

He didn't want to pick out frames because maybe, just maybe, Dr F would decide he didn't need glasses at his next appointment. Then if he picked out frames now it would be a waste of money, & even if he did pick out frames what if they came & he didn't like them? Plus, what if it all turned out to be wrong & he really didn't need those glasses. Tears started falling & he struggled to find words to really explain the rest of what was on his mind.

So I found words for him, "You mean you don't really want to wear glasses?" "Yes. I mean no, I don't want to wear them." "Do you think Dr F would have given you loaner glasses if she thought you wouldn't need them? You know, that even those these don't make the print bigger, they work just like proper glasses & if someone wears them who doesn't need them they'll hurt their eyes." Deep sigh.

He knows they are helping him. What normally takes him 45 minutes to read took him all of 25 minutes yesterday, & he actually enjoyed it. He didn't have to stop & ask me why his story wasn't making sense. He didn't need his finger or a bookmark to keep track of his place. He was smiling while he read.

I've been asked to join in enough madlibs to last me the rest of the year in the past three days. I was greeted with, "Give me a verb mom!" The strict, do not disturb mom while she's working out rule was broken because they needed help deciding if they had chosen the proper word for a past tense verb. Seriously. And all that time he'd been wearing his glasses.

When he took them off he started noticing that other things weren't as clear as he'd always thought they were. He complained of things I'd read that others with Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome {SSS} complain about, usually before diagnosis not after. He knows the glasses are helping him, but he's struggling to accept that.

I asked him what bothered him about wearing them & while he was crying he said, "I don't want to see the world through green tint for the rest of my life, I want to see it like it's suppose to be!" So we had a chat about all the people he knows who wear glasses: cousins, grandparents, uncles, famous people he's enjoyed studying, & so on. Then I reminded him of all the books building up on the shelf that I'm saving just for him to read & the story he's desperate to write.

"Are you willing to see the world with a bit of a green tint if it means you can read any book you want & write all the stories you want, work out every math problem you encounter, & see the world as a beautiful place without fuzz?"

Quietness as he mopped up his tears.

"You don't have to wear your glasses for everything you do, but if it helps you see better isn't it worth it?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Everyone has something that makes them special, we don't always know it's what makes us special you know, but it's there. Wearing coloured glasses will be one of the things that helps make you special. I'm not saying you have to love wearing them. I don't love migraines or being allergic to so many things, but they help make me special."

A smile, maybe even a bit of a laugh.

We laid the frame search aside yesterday & went to the park instead, because honestly there's very little that the salty ocean air can't help a person sort out. He played to his hearts content & when we were done I suggested we go down to the local Optometrists & try on glasses there. I told him he didn't have to decide right away, but it would give him an idea of what's available. He was excited.

So this afternoon after we finished off our school for the day we went into town & made the rounds of all four local optometrists. There's not a lot of children's glasses to choose from for the teenage boy, especially when you're kinda small & scrawny for your age & tend to grow on the slower side of things. He fell in love with the middle pair in the picture above right from the start, but decided he wanted to check what the other shops had to offer.

One shop he had more fun trying on the ugliest glasses you'll ever lay eyes on, he thought it was all very amusing until he couldn't get them back on the shelf the way they were suppose to be. So I told him to run, run fast while I distracted the clerk. I actually put them back, but it made him laugh.

We went by our own optometrist who has very little for in the kids range unless you want Bob the Builder or some other more whimsical option. The glasses on the right & left in the photo above came from that shop. The ones on the left were the smallest pair of men's glasses they have. I quite liked the ones on the other side, but he wasn't as keen on them which is for the best because the price sticker was shocking & it came with no exceptional warranty.

While he was trying on glasses his eye Dr came out, not the specialist, but the man we see for normal checks. He was delighted to see us & find out how the appointment had gone. He was also slightly apologetic sounding as he didn't really know anything about the Irlens process & thus hadn't referred us. I told him we actually found out about it rather by accident ourselves. He's really a delightful Dr & very through in his job. We don't fault him at all for not referring us. I found Morgan hiding behind the glasses display, he's a bit more timid of the fellow. I think he's still cross with him for the xrays he had to have last time we visited.

We tried another Optometrist, but oh my the selection there was more ghastly then one where I suggested Morgan run for it. Morgan was extremely frustrated & near tears again, so I suggested we get some lunch so he could think through all the glasses he'd tried on & had me take photos of. The ones he had me take photos of were the ones he was most interested in, but only the ones he's wearing in the middle picture actually excited him.

After his steak & bacon pie we headed back to the first optometrist & he happily made his final choice. He was disappointed the case they gave him didn't have a push button to open like the case he's currently using. I agree with him, the other case opens & closes very roughly & I'm concerned his new glasses will go flying. I told him I'd find him a second button open/closure one & if it wasn't entirely cool enough I was pretty sure I could remedy that.

We end the day in smiles over our selections, but he still confessed over his lunch that he didn't want to make a firm choice because, "what if Dr F got it wrong?"  "Do you really think she got it wrong, or do you wish she got it wrong?" Quietness. "If you wish she got it wrong, then wouldn't it be frustrating that just one more Dr couldn't help you? I'm glad she could help you, & maybe your final glasses won't be as heavy on the green tint, but even if they are I know you'll enjoy that stack of books waiting for you." He smiled then & asked if we could, "go get those blue ones that were at the first place. The ones the girl said were a tiny bit big so I could grow into them & maybe not have to pick out new ones again so soon!"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Completely, completely touched. He reminded me of Mac in Louisa May Alcott's "Eight Cousins" and "Rose in Bloom."