Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Power Of Duct Tape

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Dear MacGuyver,

Thanks to you the people here at the Pumpkin Patch, mainly myself, now feel confident that I can officially solve anything with duct tape and a swiss army knife. I will never have to worry about my child screaming in line at the grocery again because his sore dried chapped lip is hurting. I am now prepared to apply duct tape to instantly stop the screaming. Unfortunately the other shoppers didn't appreciate my methods, but I know you understand.

I am now confident that the obsession with maps in this house will eventually pay off. I know that at anytime in our lives when we are being chased by mad Aarabian horse thieves intent on starting a war we can simply grab a map and slide down the nearest sand dune. Only, in our case, I'm pretty sure it will be a raving mad group of roos who will be irate to learn I've been checking all their pouches "Just in case". Even still, I'm not worried. I've got maps!

Thanks to you Mac (and I feel pretty confident I can call you this as we all know your first name isn't fit for speaking) I am pretty sure the next time a tourist pulls in front of me causing me to burn rubber in my attempt to stop I can fix the problem by simply pulling out a worthless credit card and using it to jam the lights at the nearest intersection. I will most likely be using my drivers license though, as I don't own a credit card. Unfortunately I didn't have the ability to drive across the border. I forgot it was quite the swim before I entered a new country.

I'm now as eager as ever to pull out a nail file and attempt to tamper with the dice in our yahtzee game. I figure if I tamper with each set of dice I can get a Yahtzee in a semi sequential order before anyone catches on to what I've done. Besides, if they do catch on, I've still got a map, duct tape, and a swiss army knife. I know I'll be safe!

I'm not sure my husband shares all this enthusiasm for the great new craft ideas I have though. He's highly concerned about my idea for a flame thrower. But come on, I mean all I need is a racing bike and a bit of rust. I can even settle for a bit of gasoline and some cooking oil, right? Maybe it's the fact that I've been hiding in the rosemary bushes for 3 days waiting for someone to pass by on their fancy racing bike...

Then again it might be the concerning fact that I can second guess exactly what you're going to do in each of your edge of the seat predicaments. Or maybe he's just worried about the unusual amount of duct tape he's been finding around the house. I'm pretty sure that if duct tape were water proof I could even fix the wobbly dishwasher right back into it's snug little hole under the counter. Instead, I'm pretty sure if I save up enough Weet*Bix boxes I can jimmy something else that will work.

Oh sure, my husband finds all the music, and half the scenes, corny, but don't worry I've seen him sitting on the edge of his seat wondering what you'll do next. He's equally disappointed when I say, "Oh this is the one where Macguyver saves the day doing..." I'm not suppose to spoil the show and all that. I'm pretty sure by the time he's done working his way through the series he'll equally scream with delight, "It's Jack!" or "Macguyver could fix this and save me the trouble of taking out the recycling.."   Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure he's hooked too, he's just not ready to try your experiments at home. Don't worry though, once I catch that racing bike I know we'll win him over!

Ps: Thanks for the videos Dad!!

1 comments:

Blue said...

Haha I like this post a lot, made me chuckle to myself out loud. Many a time have I found myself face to face with my own child in a public place, who I cannot persuade to stop using screams to express herself. Tempted by Tamper Evident Tape so I can see if any silly person, not realising that the tape is for the greater good, has tried to release her! (Joking in case any child authorities are out there...but very nearly true!)