Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Out of the mouth of babes..

As the mother of two boys I've heard some really funny, and disgusting, stories before. Those usually happen over tea. I've even answered some tough questions, like the time Morgan asked why boys couldn't have babies too. I'm also pretty use to walking over, under, and around two boys who can't stop wrestling, climbing, and scaring the daylights out of each other; and me. So when a girl can steal a few minutes of quiet time she does. This evening while taking down the laundry, yes I consider that quite time as long as the birds don't drop lizards on me, I was blissfully enjoying the noise of birds and trying really hard to ignore the sounds of thumps and shouts omitting from the boys bedroom window. Really, and truly I was. So much so, that I picked up a rock and chucked it smack at their window. No, I didn't break the window but they stopped long enough to make sure a possum wasn't trying to get in. Five minutes later Morgan was downstairs and out the back door talking, quite loudly, about something that had just happened upstairs in his room. Once convincing him that I truly could hear him if he was quieter he repeated the story to me. It would have been easier to listen to this story and answer his question had the neighbors windows not been open. Or if at least their backdoor wasn't wide open. Or, if maybe my son had been giggling when he told it. He wasn't. He was straight faced and completely serious. I'm pretty sure the neighbors heard our conversation too because their house got awfully quiet.. The story went like this:

"Mom, while we were upstairs getting on our pjs I accidentally blew (I've no idea where this term came from, but it could be worse..) and Jayden told me it was disgusting. He said that it was probably the most disgusting smell ever and that I shouldn't do it because Jesus would have never ever blown. Is that true? Do you think Jesus ever, you know.. blew?"

I choked on my own spit, tripped over the bucket of laundry pegs, scarped my leg on the rose bush and nearly tumbled down the back stairs to the deck. I waited for far too long to see if he was going to giggle or snort or give me any indication he didn't truly expect me to answer such a question about Jesus' personal hygiene. I mean, he asks some pretty tough spiritual questions, but honestly this one...

When I realize just how serious he is, which I do realize because he's now staring at me with his head tipped to the side and he's standing on one foot while he concentrates, and worse yet he's nibbling on the tip of thumb. There's not a hint of a smile grazing his face and I'm seriously tempted to tell him to go ask Daddy when images of recipes from Israel pop through my head. I take a deep breath, match up the last pair of socks, and innocently grab a washcloth to fold.

"I guess He probably did. I mean, it's not like it's a naughty thing to do. It happens, it's part of life." I threw a couple of rags at him and he ran off to put them away. I breath again, noise resumes in the neighbors house. Morgan pops back out the back door, "So, you mean I'm right and Jayden's wrong, right?" I sigh and resort to the fact that laundry time is no longer going to be peaceful in this house..

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